


When the Levee Breaks

by waveybabey



Series: What the Water Gave Me [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Porn, Bladder Control, Bladder shy, Desperation, Don't worry, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Just a little angst, Kinks, M/M, Omorashi, POV Steve Rogers, POV Third Person, Paruresis, Pee, Pee shy, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Present Tense, Shy Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Wetting, full bladder, mentions of Bucky - Freeform, pee desperation, pissing, shy bladder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 20:51:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20534414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveybabey/pseuds/waveybabey
Summary: “Wait, you have a single with an attached bathroom? How come I never knew this? We’ve known each other for four years, and it’s never come up?” Tony asks, incredulous eyes on Steve.Steve winces. He hates this conversation, because he could never just outright say ‘I have this thing where I can’t pee in front of other people or even when they’re in ear shot, so I cannot function unless I have a private bathroom all to myself.’ Because then everyone would know he’s some kind of freak, and would avoid talking to him anymore.





	When the Levee Breaks

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. This idea was rolling around in my head and wouldn't stop until I got it out. And then it turned into a series, so, if you want to read more of this, let me know! (It does get kinkier though.)
> 
> WARNING: this contains pee. If you can't handle that, don't read it. However, it mainly focuses on Steve's inability to pee in public, nothing especially kinky. Read at your own risk, I guess.  
WARNING #2: Steve thinks pretty harmful thoughts towards himself at points, nothing too bad, but none of it should reflect what the author (i.e. me) believes. Steve also will eventually come to see these thoughts aren't correct or true if I continue this series, but for now, he shall think the worst. Again, read at your own risk.

“Wait, you have a single _with an attached bathroom? _How come I never knew this? We’ve known each other for four years, and it’s never come up?” Tony asks, incredulous eyes on Steve.

Steve winces. He hates this conversation, because he could never just outright say ‘I have this _thing _where I can’t pee in front of other people or even when they’re in ear shot, so I cannot function unless I have a private bathroom all to myself.’ Because then everyone would know he’s some kind of freak, and would avoid talking to him anymore. And he especially can’t say anything about it to Tony, because, well, he likes Tony. He likes Tony probably too much and now they’re finally, _finally_ dating and Steve isn’t about to ruin that by admitting he’s a freak who can’t pee in public. Or sometimes when anyone else is home. Or occasionally if the neighbors are being especially loud.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve says. “I have a - um - a single. With a bathroom.”

“That must be great,” Tony sighs wistfully, clearly thinking about his own single in a suite with a shared bathroom. “My suite mate has long hair and leaves it on the shower walls.”

“Ew,” Steve says, wrinkling his nose. And then, “You can shower at mine whenever you want. If you want.”

Steve flushes directly after saying that, thinking about Tony coming over anytime, getting naked in Steve’s tiny bathroom, just a few feet away.

“I might just take you up on that,” Tony winks, grinning.

Steve flushes even further, shifting in his chair slightly - oh, _fuck. _His bladder reminds him quickly that it is very full and would very much like to be emptied, _now_. He hasn’t been back to his dorm room all day; he went to classes at 9 am, and then to the library with Bucky, and then met Tony for dinner and a movie in the rec hall, and then they went to get ice cream, and got caught up talking, and now - now it’s 11 pm and it’s been fourteen hours. Shit. It’s a good thing his boyfriend is so goddamn distracting, but even Tony isn’t enough to overpower the pangs from Steve’s bladder at this point.

“I - uh - I have to go,” Steve says, uncomfortably shifting again as his bladder urges him to _get to a bathroom, now_. He frantically searches for an excuse. “I have - I have a test. I need to - um - study.”

Tony frowns. He’s looks disappointed, which makes Steve’s heart squeeze a little in his chest. “But it’s Friday.”

“It’s a big test,” Steve says weakly. It’s a thin excuse, he knows, but he’s at the point where he’s so full he’ll do anything to get back to his dorm. He starts to get up, but Tony grabs his wrist.

“Wait! I was - um,” Tony begins, and he’s the one blushing now, and avoiding Steve’s eyes. “I was hoping I could sleep over tonight.”

Steve blinks. Of course Tony would want to sleep over, they’ve been dating for a month and a half. He really should have seen this coming. Actually, he's been thinking about Tony sleeping over (or him sleeping at Tony's, but that could never happen with the shared bathroom in his suite) for weeks now. He’s so focused on the idea of sleeping next to Tony - or sleeping _with _Tony, because they haven’t done that yet - that he automatically says, “Yeah, sure,” before he even knows what’s happening.

Only a second later it hits him what an idiot he is, because he can’t spend the entire night with his bladder like this, and there’s absolutely no way he’d be able to get it up right now. Even though his dick valiantly tries with the thought of Tony naked in his bed, because he very much does want to have sex with his boyfriend.

“Yeah?” Tony repeats, a nervous half-smile forming. “What about your test?”

“I’ll study later,” Steve says quickly. “Can we - can we leave now?”

“Sure!” Tony chirps, clearly misinterpreting Steve’s anxiousness to get back to his room as excitement.

* * *

The walk there is normally quick, but it feels like forever to Steve this time. Tony keeps up with chatter about his latest project, and Steve hums and nods where appropriate while trying desperately to think of a way he could get a moment alone in his room so he could piss. His bladder keeps making unhelpful nudges that make Steve squeeze his thighs together, unsure when he’ll get the relief it’s begging for.

“Hey, you alright?” Tony asked suddenly, as they ride the elevator up to his floor. It’s only a few floors up, but Steve is suddenly really grateful that Tony refuses to take the stairs and prefers elevators. He doesn’t think he could make it up the stairs at this point, his bladder is so full. “We don’t have to do this tonight, you know. We could wait, if you're uncomfortable.”

Steve recognizes his out. Possibly his last chance out, and _holy hell _Steve is very uncomfortable, but not about Tony sleeping over. He sees his escape, but Tony has this look in his eyes, one that Steve is all too familiar with. He’d been trying to erase this look from Tony since they’d met and become friends - this look that says so much about what Tony thinks of himself. He thinks he’s annoying, and useless, and a million other things that make Steve protective and angry. It’s hard to hit the bully, though, when the one bullying Tony is himself. Steve wouldn’t mind delivering a punch to his dad’s nose for good measure, though. The point is, Tony pretty much thinks he’s worthless and undeserving of love. But in the years of their friendship, Steve (with the help of Pepper, Rhodey, Bruce, Bucky, Clint, Natasha, Thor, Sam, and Peter) has managed to show Tony that despite what he thinks of himself, Steve and the others love him anyway. The self-recrimination had made a reappearance when they’d started dating, though, and Steve can see the insecurity here, now. And he hates it.

“Tony, I’m fine. I love spending time with you, you know that,” Steve said, feeling his face heat as he thought about what else he was about to say. “And I already told you that I - that I want to... that I’m attracted to you.”

“Aww,” Tony coos teasingly, but Steve can see his cheeks turning pink. “I’m attracted to you too, Steve. But I really want to get you into bed. For sex. Preferably soon. If that’s okay with you.”

Steve’s face is on fire, and his dick tries and fails to get hard in his pants again. “Me too. That’s - I want that too.”

“Great,” Tony grins.

The elevator chimes as the doors slide open, and Steve feels like he’s heading towards his own doom, but he leads the way to his room anyway. His bladder is full to the point where it jostles with every step, and he has to bite his lip to keep from stopping in the middle of the hall and grabbing himself. Tony is excitedly chattering about his own dorm, which he hates, and Steve helpfully points out that Tony practically lives in the engineering lab anyway. He’s there at least ten minutes before it opens every morning, and they usually have to kick him out at the end of the day. Unless Tony has plans with Steve, then he’s quick to rush out of the lab, which makes Steve feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Although, he might be warm inside because his body is about to _explode from all the pee he’s holding. _

They reach his door and Steve fumbles with the keys a little as Tony keeps chatting away. Steve is trying his best to at least make noises like he’s following along, even though his brain is focused on _hold it, hold it, please god hold it, _and Tony thankfully doesn’t realize anything is amiss because he’s usually doing most of the talking anyway. But there’s times where he’s purposefully quiet to let Steve talk, too. Steve really appreciates that Tony can tell this is not one of those times.

Steve gets the door open and they go inside, and Steve flinches at the sight of the closed bathroom door. He thanks his past self for closing it, at least, so he doesn’t have to see the toilet.

“Wow, your room is bigger than mine, and you have a private bathroom?” Tony says, looking around at Steve’s things. “That’s just unfair. Discrimination against young, skinny geniuses. I’m suing the school.”

Steve snorts. “I already told you, you can stay here whenever you want.”

Steve really hates his traitor mouth. Except, he doesn’t, because he means it. He’d love to have Tony stay over in his dorm, if only he could _fucking piss like a normal person. _

Tony turns to him, smirk a mile wide. “I think you said I could shower here whenever I want. You said nothing about sleepovers.”

“W-Well, y’know,” Steve mumbles, and he feels his face heat as he shifts on his feet, half from nerves and half from desperation. “If tonight goes well, then...”

“Baby, it’s gonna be amazing,” Tony grins, sitting on Steve’s bed and patting the spot next to him. Steve sits gingerly, wincing at the new position on his bladder.

Tony leans in and starts kissing him, but after awhile seems to sense Steve’s discomfort, and pulls back to talk instead. He rambles about a new machine he’s planning on building, and Steve is trying to follow along because he loves hearing what Tony’s working on, but he _can’t. _His bladder is sending increasingly urgent pulses, and he feels a spurt leak into his underwear. He freezes, then, and hisses under his breath as the pressure inside grows and grows and grows until he’s sure he can’t possibly take any more, and then it finally fades away to something more manageable. And it is so cruel that Steve has a bathroom _right there, _and he’s so desperate that he’s leaking in his pants, but he can’t go. He knows if he tries that he’ll find himself clenching up in front of the toilet, and he’ll just come out of the bathroom even more desperate than before. He can’t get up and go pee but damn if it doesn’t feel like he’s about to lose it in his pants any second now.

“-Steve?” Tony’s concerned voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Hmm?” Steve hums, pulling his attention away from his bladder, and back to his boyfriend.

“Are you okay?” Tony asked. “If this is too much-“

“I’m fine,” Steve said quickly. “Tony, I love you. I want you here.”

“Okay,” Tony said slowly. He continues talking about his latest invention that he was describing earlier, and this time Steve can’t follow along because he’s thinking of a plan.

He can’t get Tony out of the room. Tony would think it’s his fault, which is out of the question. He could just try to go, maybe this time it would work. He’s _so_ full and _so_ desperate. He glances at the clock on his desk and sees that it’s nearing midnight, meaning he hasn’t peed for fifteen hours now. But he can’t just say he needs to pee. He’s never been able to say that out loud, let alone to a significant other. Maybe if Steve pretends he needs a shower. That’s a good excuse, right? And he could take as long as he wants. And maybe, _maybe _he’ll be able to go. A shower is loud enough to cover the noise, right? He used to do that when he slept over at Bucky’s, sometimes, but he also made Bucky sit in the farthest room from the bathroom while he did it. And only ever when Bucky’s ma and sisters weren’t home.

He can do it. Just say he needs a shower. He can do it. Tony won’t suspect anything. He can do it.Tony doesn’t know he has to pee. _He can do it. He can do it. He can -_

“I’m gonna go pee real quick, and then I think we should change into pajamas. Or nothing. We could sleep naked, if you want? Think about it.” Tony winks, disappearing into the bathroom.

Steve makes a desperate noise. He’d been just about to-! Oh, who is he kidding, he was never going to get the courage to get up and go to the bathroom, even under the pretense of a shower. He just can’t do it. And now Tony is in there, doing the one thing Steve is dying to do, and it just isn’t fair!

A second later, Steve _hears _Tony going, hears the desperate rush of piss into the toilet, and his bladder spasms wildly. He has to go way worse that Tony, he’s sure, and he wishes he could’ve just _gone already. _He could’ve gone hours ago! When his bladder first felt full, if he was normal, he could’ve emptied it into a public toilet like everyone else on the planet. His ears focus again on the sound of Tony’s release, so faint behind the door, but it’s the only sound in the room besides Steve’s harsh breathing. And then, with another spasm, abruptly, Steve knows he’s going to lose control. His hands fly to his crotch, but it’s too late, he’s leaking into his pants. The dam is broken and Steve can’t possibly stop it now.

He waited too long.

He stares down at his pants as a wet stain appears around his hands, spreading quickly. He imagines the pee soaking into the bed under him, and stands in a panic. The new position only causes more pee to come out, and Steve doesn’t even realize he’s sobbing now. He’s really and truly panicking, trying to think of anything to stop this situation he’s found himself in. The door to the bathroom opens, and Steve has a moment to think, ‘_This is it. My life is over_,’ before Tony comes out and sees him.

“Steve!” He immediately exclaims, alarmed. Probably because Steve is standing in the middle of the room, sobbing, and peeing himself. But the worst part of it is, he’s not really, he’s only leaking into his pants, and he still _really really _has to go.

“I-I-I’m s-s-sorr-rry!” Steve gasps between sobs, hunching in on himself as if to hide. Tony catches his shoulders and straightens him back out, looking him dead in the eye.

“Don’t apologize,” he says gently. “It’s okay. Steve, _it’s okay.” _

_“It’s not okay!” _Steve wails. His body is trembling from the combination of stress and anxiety and the fact that he’s still holding what’s probably gallons of pee. “I’m - I’m a freak!”

“You’re not a freak,” Tony says, more concern leaking into his voice. He pulls Steve close into a hug, ignoring the wet spot on his pants. “Hey, we’ve all been here, you’re not a freak just because you peed your pants.”

“No,” Steve sobs, pulling away. He needs to explain. “I can’t - I can’t...”

He trails off, praying Tony just understands as he awkwardly gestures at the bathroom, but even a genius like Tony needs a better explanation than that. He chances a glance at Tony’s face, but he just looks concerned and confused, not disgusted like Steve thought.

“I can’t p-p-piss when other people are around,” Steve admits in a tiny voice. He’s got a handle on his bladder now, he’s not leaking, but he’s still desperate. Now he’s desperate and wet and embarrassed and terrified, though, and this is the worst day of his life. Worse, even, than the time Bucky found him crying on the floor of the bathroom the first time he tried to sleepover at his house, covered in urine. Because Bucky had somehow stuck by him, even after that incident repeated itself several times, and he helped Steve with his issue. Tony, however, is definitely going to leave Steve for this. There is no way-

“Alright,” Tony says. “Paruresis. Makes sense, I’ve never seen you use the bathroom in public. But then why’d you invite me over?”

Steve sniffles a little, calming down at the presence of Tony’s calm. “Because I wanted to. I want you over, I just - I can’t.”

“...well, next time, just let me know and I’ll take a walk or something,” Tony says, like it’s the easiest thing ever, and Steve just blinks at him.

“What?”

“Or, if you can’t say you need to go, I could just leave for a little bit every time I stay over, in the future. If you still want me to stay over. Like, maybe a walk before bed, and I can grab breakfast and coffee in the morning,” Tony suggests. Steve scans him, but he seems earnest, no jokes being played here.

“You’re... okay with this?” Steve whispers, barely daring to hope.

“Steve, honey.” Tony softens even more. He pulls Steve close again, but not into a hug. He presses against him but keeps their eyes connected. “There’s nothing wrong with you. This is just... something you deal with. Something I can help you deal with. Lord knows you help me deal with all my shit. And, I’d say mine is much more annoying than a little pee.”

Steve laughs, a little nervously, and winces as his bladder pulses, still waiting to release the rest.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks.

“I, uh, I still have to go,” Steve admits. “I only let a little out. It was - it was an accident.”

“Should I leave for a little while then?” Tony asks, but when he goes to pull away, Steve wraps a hand around his wrist.

“Don’t go,” he begs. “I’m afraid - I’m afraid if you leave you won’t come back.”

“Steve,” Tony says softly, eyebrows pulling together. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, I just...” Steve sighs. “I’m going to try to shower. I need one now, anyway.”

“Okay. But if you still can’t go, then I’m going to go for a walk. I’ll text you the whole time, stay in your building, but I won’t have you uncomfortable,” Tony says sternly, and Steve can’t resist kissing him. Tony, thankfully, kisses back, but it’s cut short by Steve’s bladder painfully reminding him to get moving.

Tony settles back on Steve’s bed, grabbing a random book from underneath it, as Steve grabs a change of clothes. He heads to his bathroom, sparing a moment to glance at his amazing, perfect, breathtaking, accepting boyfriend sitting on his bed (which is thankfully pee-free).

As soon as the bathroom door shuts, Steve is hopping from foot to foot, a hand flying down to grab his dick and squeeze. Christ, he’s still desperate, even after losing some of it in his pants. He stumbles over to the toilet, setting the clothes he brought by the sink. He pulls himself out and waits... but nothing. He still freezes up, no matter how badly he has to go, thinking of how he’d been able to hear Tony going so Tony would probably be able to hear him. He sighs, strips his clothes off and hops in the shower instead. He stands under the water and tries to lose himself in that, instead of the thought of Tony waiting for him outside.

They probably won’t have sex now. Even if Tony isn’t totally disgusted by the pee thing, he probably isn’t turned on by the sight of his boyfriend crying and covered in his own piss. Steve hopes not. He’s not in the mood anymore, anyway, he feels fragile and small and vulnerable, but under that happy, too. Tony is staying with him, somehow, and that’s amazing. And Tony’s staying the night. Even without sex, that’s something Steve never quite let himself hope for. Before, he’d thought he would have to somehow train himself to hold it for over 24 hours, but now... now Tony seems okay with it. Just like Bucky was. Bucky had turned out to be surprisingly helpful, when he’d found out. Steve was still young then, so Bucky helped him rush home after school and not get picked on. Or he helped him hide wet pants when he was out and just couldn’t hold it anymore. He remembered after telling Bucky, he felt relieved, like suddenly he wasn’t alone in this. And he feels the same, with Tony, now. He feels more honest, too, and he doesn’t have to worry about offending Tony when he leaves dates suddenly, or can’t invite Tony over. Actually, he _can_ have Tony over, now, and they can eventually -

His mind is finally distracted enough, or his bladder is desperate enough, and the pee releases in a rush. It mixes with the water rushing over Steve, and even he can’t hear it over the shower, so he keeps going and going and going, slumping with relief against the wall. He’s been holding for hours, and he finally lets it out.

After he finishes, he washes himself as quickly as possible and dresses even faster in order to see if Tony is still waiting for him. He opens the bathroom door cautiously, seeing Tony still sitting exactly where he left him, curled on Steve’s bed reading his book like he belongs there. Steve’s heart warms in his chest.

“Hey,” Tony smiles. “You look much more relaxed, so I’m gonna assume you were able to go?”

Steve nods, flushing a little.

“Good.” Tony’s smile brightens even more. “Now, come to bed, big guy.”

Steve does, and feels truly good for the first time, like maybe everything will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder: Let me know if you want more of Steve's issues, and Steve/Tony (and eventually Tony's kink!). Because I have already written like four more parts to this series my brain cooked up and they're just sitting there waiting to be read. But only if you want it!
> 
> Also, thanks so much for reading!
> 
> P.S. Title comes from the song When the Levee Breaks by Led Zeppelin


End file.
